Hi...I'm still here. Some days just barely. Some days held together with Scotch Tape. Some days like the wind blowing through your driver's window when "Livin' on a Prayer" comes on (what's now the oldies station, by the way). Whatever day I've had when I hit the pillow that night, the sentiment stays the same: Thank you, God, for all of my blessings.
Seems like summer had just gotten started when that pesky August arrived. The bucket list the kids and I created for 2019 had marks all over it, indicating all of our goals had been accomplished: carnival, beach, fireworks, picnic, gross jumpy places, baseball games, craft camp, acting camp, baseball camp, vacation Bible school... we were busy. Tired and happy, but busy. And blessed.
On tap for the last day of summer was Toy Story 4- just the kids and me. Small "cozies" (blankets), "pets" (stuffed animals), and our little popcorn bags were prepared and off we were to our favorite AMC. Everything about the day and the movie was just perfect: until the closing scene. I hope I'm not spoiling this for you, but the ending is one that makes your throat get all fiery and tight... I looked next to me at Mads, a little side frown painted on her pretty little face, maybe she wasn't understanding what was happening. Then I looked to my Little Old Soul and there it was: the full-on ugly cry. Dammit, I forgot the tissues.
Jimmy just gets it, and if you know him and know him well, you will agree when I say he has gotten it since the day he was born. At this moment, all I could do was outstretch my arms for my tender-hearted boy, and hug him (thank goodness for the oversized theater seats). After the lights came on, and the cleaning crew appeared to get started, I asked him what struck him as so sad, to which he answered, "Goodbyes are hard, Mama."
We walked in silence to the car, and sat in the lot for a moment. Jimmy was still crying. "Wanna talk about it," I would ask occasionally, which was answered with a headshake "no." The moment was so sweet and endearing, so poignant and so raw, so Jimmy and so... Life.
Goodbyes are hard. We have said goodbye to quite a bit in the last seven years - so many people, things, ideas, dreams... I just don't know where to begin if I had to make a list. In that time, we have said hello to equally as many new people, schools, things, ideas, dreams... It's a matter of chance and choice - such is Life, I guess. Such is Life.
Notice the things that make you tired, happy, busy and blessed. When you stop to think about it, these are the things that make you, well, you. It's what we give thanks for at the end of each day, and it's what gets us through Life's Cycle of Goodbyes.
Just don't forget the tissues.
Copyright 2019 More Seasoned Then, a blog by Dana Prezembel Hackett.
